Paola Scemama-Ittah: “Today We Show The Money We Have, The Bachelorette Is More Than That”

In a society that increasingly values ​​financial success, psychologist Paola Schamamma-Itta notes a confusion between personal success and financial success. Singles are advised not to hold back from making decisions such as buying real estate.

Neuropsychologist and Clinical Psychologist, Paula Scemama-Ittah Created by Célibattant for people who live alone and Mowglie Brian Coaching organization that offers programs to improve cognitive skills

For management, a single person is an unmarried person, with or without children.
The common definition of celibacy has changed in recent years. Thus celibacy today can include people in a non-exclusive couple or in a relationship with a person. We’re together but we don’t say we’re a couple because we consider it a form of confinement. It is a new way of living one’s freedom at the problematic risk of losing the other. Although I am in love, I consider my freedom more valuable. We no longer really know what freedom means.

Who are those who consider themselves celibate?
Some of those who remain single remain so because they want to fulfill themselves professionally as well as financially. Many want to show that by choosing: “I succeeded first.” But another part of the bachelors feel that they are going through this celibacy even after they have succeeded professionally. These people will not highlight their professional success. In fact, single people will value their financial independence or not depending on how they experience being single. This globally affects how they “sell” themselves.

Has the growth in the number of singles reduced the negative or compassionate view of celibacy in society?
This is certain. The image conveyed through celibacy is more fun than it was a few years ago.

Is the difficulty in assuming celibacy mainly related to young female CEOs? A study by the National Institute for Demographic Studies (1) showed that women, particularly in their thirties, who have either completed higher education or are from well-off socioeconomic levels, are the least experienced. we will.
Yeah. I see women from higher socio-professional groups feel less single. They have succeeded in their careers, and they take care of themselves, but they can’t meet someone who would complete them without their crush. Suddenly they lose the feeling of needing someone.

About 42% of female CEOs surveyed in 2014 answered that being single makes their daily lives more difficult, compared to 30% for non-executives…
It is true that women from humble backgrounds prefer their independence. When they separate, their financial situation is just as difficult, but they are no longer accountable. They have just been released.

Do you notice differences with couples in the way singles view money?
Today we define ourselves by money: we show the money we have and the only person more. You have to set your eyes on it. Money is seen less and more as a means of self-indulgence, and more and more as a symbol of social success. As if having money means being smart or awesome. We publish our activities and goods on social networks. We offer material happiness. It is more a question of generation than social status or background. The previous generation was more conservative.

Does celibacy lead to a difference in behavior in investments and real estate investments?
Yeah. Celibacy prevents binding decisions, more for young women than for young men. I heard women in their forties tell me they can’t buy their house because they are waiting to do it with the husband when they can do it on their own. They are perfect buy for two and depend on a man even before they meet him. The danger is that when they meet him, they will pressure him by saying “then we buy” and he may face it badly. We don’t know if we will ever find someone with the same desires, the same socioeconomic level. In addition, if the meeting is delayed, it is possible that the other has bought his apartment. It’s never too late to reinvest then. Older women, especially after a divorce, are more thoughtful and seek to protect themselves (with a compensatory allowance) and invest on their own.

Are questions about money and differences in income and/or wealth an obstacle to creating a spouse?
yes ! I often hear people say, “My family has money. I can’t settle down with someone who doesn’t have one.” This adds to the difficulty of finding someone. For women and men, but a little more for women, the least free.

sYet another INED study (2) shows a strong singularity of wealth, even within couples, do you see it?
It is a very strong trend. It’s impressive how “my money is my money” is. I often hear reflections on the ramifications and division of goods through which it will be necessary to pass. People no longer marry with the same carelessness as before. And this, in all social and professional groups.

Is buying a property for two people strengthens the couple?
no. This will complicate the possibility of a breakup but it does not mean that the couple becomes more solid.

Is The Bachelor less sensitive to transfer questions or is it a somewhat feminine subject?
Women generally think about transmission. But if in the older generation the preoccupation was rather feminine, today it concerns all individuals. We are thinking less and less “after the flood”. Either we are happy that we have a legacy and want to pass it on to the next generation, or we are sad that we did not have a legacy and want to pass it on to our children. It is more noticeable among people who are not in appearances. This desire grew with the position of the child in the family.

Interview by Allen Vovark

(1) “Life Outside the Spouse, an Exceptional Life, the Experience of Singleness in Contemporary France” by Marie Berström, Françoise Courtel and Geraldine Vivier, from 2019 based on a 2014 study.

(2) Inequality and the Individualization of Wealth by Nicholas Frémaux and Marion Littourc, “Inequality and the Individualization of Wealth,” Journal of General Economics 184: 1-18. »


Buying your home to secure your independence

Alone or as a couple, buying your home remains the ultimate safety. The individual guarantees not only a roof over his head, but also a backup option in case of the terrible failure of his future married life.

Unmarried young people are often reluctant to embark on a real estate project on their own, unlike those who are divorced. To represent life together, the bachelor is waiting for the person of his dreams. Error ! This leads to “pressure on the other at the beginning of the relationship,” as Paula Simama-Itta notes.

And perhaps the other has bought his apartment, which may lead you to put your project on hold. It is better to simplify the process of buying and borrowing real estate. It will always be possible to sell or rent your home to settle down as a married couple. Moreover, most borrowers change homes before repaying their loan. On average, a home loan term is only seven to eight years, compared to an average subscription period of twenty years.

If your means are too narrow to accommodate you in the city you work in, set foot in real estate, through rental investment or SCPI’s.

The sustainable intensification of productivity achieved just over 4.45% in 2021 according to the French Association for Real Estate Investments (ASPIME). They still have to be held for at least eight years to consume the entrance fee.

You can also consider buying property or vacant life if you are not in a hurry to occupy the dwelling purchased (in the case of expats), to stay mobile or buy cheaper (not to receive rents when one is already subject to a marginal amount) Tax rate 41% and 45%).

Some SPI indicators such as Accimopierre from BNP Paribas can be divided. The capital gain will still be paid on the day of sale, which will be calculated for life on the total purchase price (the sum of the paid package and the capital making up the annuity), with a reduction in the holding period.

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